2009

Every beginning starts with another's ending.

Winter

"The snow doesn't give a soft white damn whom it touches."
- E.E. Cummings

Winter. I never really understood that word. It's only taken a few weeks here in Colorado and I have a WHOLE new appreciation for the word "winter". I have driven in several snow storms (scared to death). I have pushed cars out of ditches. I have almost busted my ass (many times). I have skied in -20 degree windchill. I have been stranded at a friend's house for days. I have dug my car out numerous times.

It's funny ... because nobody acts like the snow is a big deal here. I watch the news every morning before getting out of bed and they NEVER even mention if it's snowing outside. Finally, the weather segment will come on and it goes kind of like this ... "Well folks... expect snow today ... highs in the single digits ... back to you Bob." REALLY????? How much snow???? What time will it end????? How about some doppler images?????? How am I supposed to know if I should scramble to the grocery store and buy bread and milk????? :)

ANYWAY ... I love winter. I didn't even know it.

The Secret

It has been passed down through the ages, highly coveted, hidden, lost, stolen, and bought for vast sums of money.


I had dinner with a good friend of mine and she gave me a copy of The Secret. Now, honestly, I am normally not a fan of books that can be added to The Stack of Happy ... Susan loves and collects them ... I won't even read the first page :) BUT I decided to be nice and give this some of my time & energy ... and I have actually gotten something out of this book.

First of all... I thought there was A secret ... but there isn't. This is just a collection of modern-day teachers ideas about the power of positive thinking.

You can see the law of attraction everywhere. You draw everything to yourself. The people, the job, the circumstances, the health, the wealth, the debt, the joy, the car that you drive, the community that you're in. And you've drawn them all to you like a magnet. What you think about you bring about. Your whole life is a manifestation of the thoughts that go on in your head.
- Lisa Nichols, The Secret

I am so blessed. I recognize that more and more each day of my life.

I am so thankful for my friends, my job, my circumstances, my health, my wealth, my joys, my car and my community. Evidently, I am a powerful magnet and I am attracting good things into my life ;) Supposedly, you have 60,000 thoughts a day .... what are you thinking about? What are you attracting?

"One doesn't discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time."
- Andre Gide (1869 - 1951)

Seasons of the Soul

"Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each."
- Henry David Thoreau

November?

I skipped November. Well... I didn't actually "skip" it ... I just couldn't bring myself to write about it. I had moments where I wanted to write about everything that I was going through - but I honestly didn't think I should attempt to express myself. I was literally just trying to get through one day to the next. I am in a place now that I can write with a clear mind. However, I can't bring myself to blast everything that I've been through on a Blog. It just seems to do it an injustice.

Know this ... I have been face-down in the floor sobbing ... emotionally exhausted ... asking myself if I'm doing the right thing for me.

And know this ... I'm not in the floor anymore. I am on my feet. My tears and anxiety have faded away ... and now there's peace in my heart. I wanted to be in Colorado. I AM IN COLORADO. I risked everything to be here... and I made the right decision. I know that.

The snow has started to fall. That makes me very happy.

Team Building

Company Team Building ... Colorado Style


Greta, Yanyu, Jenn, Wendy, Taylor, Jenny, Myself



Kelly (A.K.A. Bossman)


Jen


Todd Horn

Later that night ... a few of us stumbled through a Haunted Colorado Corn Maze ... we LAUGHED and LAUGHED and LAUGHED. Highlights... me doing Hammertime while being assaulted by a Fiend ... Wendy falling off the bus trying to "escape" a witch ... the "Saw" Room and trying to find the key... the dark room that smelled like crap... being chased by a dude with a chainsaw while running 50 yards arm-in-arm with Wendy... "giving Jen away at her Cornfield wedding"... good times :)


Jen and Wendy ... B.C. (Before Cornfield)



Jenny and Jen



Jenny, Jen, Wendy, Me ... Cornfield

Red Dirt Girl

I rode into Moab, Utah at night for a weekend of mountain biking. I could FEEL the rocks around me as I drove into town. I could barely see the shadows of the rocks soaring up and around me... but I knew they were beautiful... and I was SO RIGHT. If I had to describe it... I would say Moab is a magnificent piece of rugged rock art - chiseled by the hand of God. It was truly amazing :)

North Carolina

I went back to NC this past weekend. I have been really homesick lately. I think I've been working too much... playing too little... so it hasn't even been "Fun Prison"... more like "Work Prison". It's easy to think that I've made the right decision when I'm riding on one of the best trails in the United States... but when I'm really working my ass off... NO RIDING/FISHING/HIKING... I have to ask myself "What in the hell am I doing?" I have been feeling so overwhelmed. I really needed to make the trip to NC to get filled back up.

I loved getting to see people that I love. It's fun to be surrounded by people that I truly do care about and miss tremendously. You take things like "friends that feel like family" for granted when they are there for you on a daily basis... but when you are by yourself week after week... you really appreciate things like hugs & kisses.

Stephanie and I had dinner with Joey & Jeremy (and Westin) on Thursday night. Syl & Karen joined us for drinks (thanks Syl for the martini). Saturday morning Stephanie surprised me with a one-hour massage in Cary. We had lunch with Dina and Diane (thanks Diane for lunch). Then off to Marion for dinner with the folks and onto somewhere close to Hendersonville, NC for a ceremony for the Brandies. We crammed it in! We had so much fun :)

I am so happy that I got to spend some time with Joyful :) We had a lot of fun traveling together and hanging out with old friends (and some new friends) and wearing wigs... and sleeping in a cabin/screened in porch... almost freezing to death... while waiting for a bear to burst into a front door that wouldn't close. Good times :) Wish we were there again tonight.

Instead... I'm sitting in Phoenix, Arizona... trying to get to Denver, Colorado (and of course, Phoenix isn't even between NC and CO).

By the Pond

Joyful

Me

Zach & Breann (New Friends for me)

Brande Lamb

Everybody

On The Fly

Fly fishing in Colorado... check.

Big Thompson River

Kirk's Fly Fising/Estes Park/Colorado/Chad

Untitled Trout

Fun Prison
I feel like I'm serving time in Fun Prison. I am here ... but oh my goodness... I am SO HERE by MYSELF. The mountains and bike trails and fishing... are SO wonderful... but I am here by myself. I am trying (against all of my natural born instincts) to reach out to new people. I have met some very nice people. I have met some very weird people. I have met some very dirty people. I went to a dinner party the other night ... immediately AFTER I finished mountain biking... in post-ride clothes... shorts/tshirt/socks/Chacos(tacos). I was so stinky and dirty... I was almost embarrassed to show up at these people's house. However, I was shocked to find the hosts dirtier than myself. Evidently, dirt/stench/sweat just indicates an awesome day in Colorado. It has taken some getting used to. For sundry reasons, I mountain biked twice this weekend ... on two separate days... before showering. I felt like a real local :)

Fly fishing was cool. I hired a guide to take me fishing since I've never fly fished before. I am still amazed that you can fish in town. We fished in Estes Park. Seriously, there was a Putt Putt course up my ass while I was fetching trout out of a cold snow-fed mountain stream. Insane. I imagined fishing secret little water holes up in the RMNP... but ended up fishing across the street from a Mexican Restaurant. I caught several trout... then went for a mountain bike ride... then went to a party with people I don't know... then came home alone to my little apartment. Fun prison. Understand now?

I wish I could transport all of my family & friends & loved ones here with me in this little slice of heaven. It would be perfect.

Work & Play

The first week at work is done! Thank goodness. It started off pretty hard for me. Stephanie is still here with me... she takes me to work every morning. She always says, "Is there anything I can do for you today?" and I always say, "Can you pack us back up today - so we can go home?" She assures me that she can have the car ready to head back to NC by 4:00 :)

The first day was very unorganized and that stressed me out. Day 2... was a little better. Day 3... better. Day 4 ... I was back in the lab. Day 5... I got to get back on my bike. Day 5 was the BEST day.

I'm sure that it will get better as time goes by. I am TOTALLY dreading the day that Stephanie heads back to NC (Sept. 6). For now, we are having a wonderful time. We've already met some really nice people. We've had 2 awesome rides in Colorado. So, FOR NOW, life is good.

Where The Wild Things Are

We had our first brush last night with Colorado wildlife at the YMCA...

I was all excited about the fact that our car was parked directly in front of the bedroom window... JUST in case somebody tried to steal my bikes... I'd be able to hear them in the middle of the night. WELL... we went to sleep around 11:00PM... and then at 3:30AM... WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! Stephanie went into "OH MY GOD .... LOU WAKE UP!!!! DID YOU HEAR THAT??!!!" mode. She looks out the window and says... "It's a BEAR! It's a fat a$$ m#$%er f%#@ing BLACK BEAR". OkAY... you're right ... she didn't actually SAY that... but if she used cuss words... THAT is EXACTLY what she would have said. I could tell by the panic in her voice that she was thinking those things :) Well, it takes a lot to get my heart racing... but I'll tell you when I looked out the window and saw a 400 lb black bear stretched out directly in front my Explorer snacking on a bag of trash... I got a little pumped. We watched him enjoy his trash snack for about 15 minutes. Meanwhile, we are discussing what his NEXT move would be. I voted for... Bear finishes trash and comes on up on our cabin deck looking for more goodies. Stephanie voted for ... Bear finishes snack and moves onto the closest neighboring trash snacks. Of course, I'm always right :) Bear finished his dinner... took a sniff at my hood (I said... "Oh s@#t! He's going to pounce on my f#$%$ng car!"... I'm not sure if I DID say that... but I probably did and I know I at least THOUGHT it VERY loudly in my head)... then starts to come up onto the deck! Now, that kinda scared me a bit. We started beating the window like crazy. We startled him and he ran about 10 feet from the house... stopped turned around and looked at us like "What are you really going to do?"... started coming right back toward the cabin. Now, I was actually scared. Bears are supposed to run away when you make noise. That's what every book about Bears and Safety says. We beat the window double-extra hard and he finally took off. WHEW :) Stephanie assigned herself to Bear Watch for at least an hour. She was kinda calming down until some people right outside our cabin started screaming at the bear. She cracked the window to hear the people a little bit better... and that's when we realized it was a pack of coyotes :) Yep. Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep. Guess I need to get myself some bear spray, a bear bell and a small pistol for mountain biking.

Bear Trash Snack

We went into Rocky Mountain National Park today :) It was beautiful. Pictures speak louder than words :)







Rocky Mountain National Park/Alpine Visitor Center

The Journey AND The Destination

WE MADE IT!

Diane Smitherman always says, "It's all about the journey... not the destination." For me ... it's the journey AND the destination.

I want to write so much... but I am SO tired. Words really can't capture how I feel about being in Colorado.

Stephanie and I made it to Colorado yesterday (left Apex NC on Monday). We had an absolutely FANTASTIC time driving out here. I never DREAMED that I would enjoy the journey... but I did... and I'm ALREADY enjoying the destination.

Day 1 - Apex to Marion. Stayed with my parents.
Day 2 - Marion to Memphis. Stayed with Stephanie's sister Renee.
Day 3 - Memphis to Branson, Missouri. Stayed at Big Cedar Lodge.
Day 4 - Branson to Salina, Kansas.
Day 5 - Salina to Longmont, Colorado.
Day 6 - Longmont to Estes Park, Colorado.

I love it here. It's absolutely beautiful. We're staying in a cabin at the YMCA in Estes Park tonight. Heading up to the Rocky Mountain National Park tomorrow.

I'll write more when I'm not so exhausted.


Big Cedar Lodge/Branson, Missouri



Not in Kansas Anymore



YMCA - Estes Park, Colorado


"Where are YOU from?" ... if we had a dollar for every time we heard that one ... we'd be rich :) Apparently Stephanie and I have Southern accents :)